Grand Casino Mille Lacs, Onamia, MN

Actually, it's not in Onamia but it's the closest real postal address I guess. I give this place a low D (would've been higher if they at least made an effort).

Because Maryanne's treatments haven't been going so good for the last couple weeks, and there is a real possibility of her having to take some time off work for sets of more intensive treatments each week, I thought I would take her for at least one night somewhere out-of-town, out of the way maybe, where she can just relax and enjoy herself.

I decided on Grand Casino Mille Lacs. I would've gone to Hinckley instead but two things stopped me: 1) we've had two previous bad experiences at Hinckley, 2) The MS 150 was going through there the same weekend, and they were very booked.

I also decided that I didn't care what it cost, so I went for the biggest suite available and some extras. What I had reserved was the Arrowhead suite (4-person hot tub!) that has a nice view of the lake with the Romance Package add-on (price was about $350 with the package). The Romance package adds two $50 gift certificates (food and gift shop respectively), free valet parking, a whirlpool or fireplace suite, a gift basket full of 'goodies' and a later checkout time.

We arrived at around 2:30pm. I had deliberately kept Maryanne in the dark as much as I could about where we were going so as to surprise her. I was expecting a nice big room with a bunch of extras that would just make her happy.

What I got was a Northwoods Suite (jetted bath-tub for two but only big enough for one) with a nice view of the rear parking lot and street. The Romance Package actually gave us a wicker basket full of popcorn, chocolate covered peanuts, yogurt covered pretzels, a box of crackers and a couple of small tubs of cheese spread (no utensils of any kind were provided for the cheese spread). We did also get the gift certificates and we mostly used them (I'll get to that in a sec). I called the front desk right away about this screw up, and they right away transferred me to the general reservation line.

Turns out they had a different confirmation code than the one I was given (very different, not just one letter off) and said I was booked for exactly what I had. This was just the start of my disappointment for the weekend as it turns out.

Valet parking is free for all hotel guests I was told at the front desk, and I was a bit annoyed since the Package description made it sound as though Valet was free with a Package, not otherwise. The other thing was that I expected to pull up, get our bags from the car and have a valet come out, take the keys and park the car. Instead, I had to go to the front desk, and after checking in they called for a valet attendant (the little valet booth just inside the door was dark and empty) to come get my car.

After all that we went to the casino for a couple hours.

We had dinner Saturday night at the Woodlands, which is their fine dining establishment. The only entry is through the middle of the casino area, and I'd thought that it would be noisy and smelly in the restaurant because of that. I was happy to find that it was quiet and comfortable. Good thing since the food was not very good at all.

We ordered crab cakes for an app, she had french onion soup and I had a Cesar salad for starters. the cheese cover on her soup has burned in a couple spots, but she said it really was very good. My salad had about 2-cups too much vinegar in the dressing, so I only ate a portion of it and set it aside (good thing too). We both order the fillet Mignon; hers with Bearnaise (instead of bordelaise) and mashed potato, mine with mushrooms, bordelaise and baked potato. She had soda to drink and I had a glass of alcohol free wine (they serve no alcohol anywhere at this casino/hotel).

Her steak was bare on the plate, the sauce on the side as she requested. Mushrooms on the plate around it. Bordelaise on her mash potato like a gravy, though she said she didn't want bordelaise. She said her steak was a little undercooked but good. Everything was a bit cold for her taste.

My steak was also undercooked and quite tough. It *looked* as though it had been cooked quite well though on the outside. Lots of charred bits and burned patches. Inside was slightly warm and rare. My baked potato was plain (butter and sour cream provided) and uncut, and nicely warmed to the touch though it was also undercooked (it was almost crunchy in the center like a raw potato or apple).

I ended up eating less than half the steak, all of the potato and finishing with my salad. Our server asked us shortly after delivering the food how things were. I hadn't cut my steak yet (was still working on getting my potato set to eat) so I said I don't yet, haven't had a chance to try my steak yet. She said she'd come back in a few minutes and check again. She didn't.

When our server did come back it was to offer refills, clear our plates and ask about dessert. It was at this point that I became quite offended instead of just annoyed. She asked us what we would like, mentioned a couple things not on the menu and we were discussing options. I was going to get a plain cheesecake (not a fan of any berry sauces) and Maryanne ended up getting the Tiramisu that wasn't on the menu. The funny part is that after Maryanne ordered her dessert, our server walked away. She didn't ask me if I wanted anything, and didn't wait for me to say what I wanted. So, no dessert for me.

The Tiramisu was almost completely frozen anyway, and Maryanne only had a little bit of it.

I left a small tip. Maryanne took what was left of her steak back to our room (we had a mini fridge).

We also had a little incident with the host that seated us. He came by after we had been mostly finished eating our meal to check on us. He asked if I needed a refill on anything, and I said no. He then turned to my wife and asked if she needed anything to which she said she would like a box for her steak. He then waved his hand as if to dismiss her and walked away (he didn't say anything, just waved). She thought this was very rude behavior, and it was.

We spent a few hours in the casino before dinner, and I went back again after we'd spent a bit of time in the pool area (had to stop and get suits first, so we used our Gift Shop certificate for those). The air in the pool area was so full of chlorine and that chemical smell that we didn't stay long, maybe 30 minutes. She was feeling a bit tired after that and went to bed early. I went back to the casino for awhile, returning to the room around 1am and went to bed.

The bed mattress was so hard, I wouldn't have noticed if I accidentally ended up on the floor. I'm not kidding, it was almost rock hard. Maryanne commented on the exact same thing that next morning when I ran into her again. It was so terribly uncomfortable that I only got a couple hours sleep in the bed. I ended up napping on the couch in the sitting area for an hour.

I ended up waking a few hours before Maryanne (which has been the norm for the last few months) so I went back to the casino for a couple hours (not much else to do here as it turns out). I went back to the room at 9am only to find that she wasn't there. I found her in the casino near where I had been playing for the last hour, and we went to the Grand Northern Grill for breakfast. We'd forgotten to use our $50food gift certificate for dinner, so used it on breakfast instead.

I ordered the Ranch Breakfast - 2 eggs (over medium), hashbrowns, toast and sausage. She had eggs Benedict with hashbrowns, toast and bacon. I also ordered some pancakes, and (forgive me) CHEESE CURDS! I love those things, and there's were pretty good with ranch or seasoned sour cream.

The rest of the food was less than good. Her eggs were undercooked, both of our hashbrowns were burned on one side (the bottom, go figure) as were parts of my pancakes. My eggs were nicely cooked on one side and almost burned on the other, so they ended up being very tough. The toast was also quite tough and chewy, almost like old (not dried) bread.

I ate half the pancakes, the eggs, the toast and part of the hashbrowns. My sausage was almost raw so I didn't touch it. She ate the eggs, ham and one piece of toast. Most of our food was cool or cold when it was brought to the table anyway.

We paid with the food gift certificate, and ended up getting the whole meal free since the price was less than the certificate (about $34).

We went back to the casino for another couple hours after that (we had a later than normal checkout time as part of our Romance Package). Right about noon we decided to go back to the room, pack up and relax for a bit before checking out.

We couldn't get back into our room. Someone had turned off our key cards, and housekeeping had to let us in (after the housekeeping people harangued us about letting them know when we had left so they could clean our room). When the hell did it become the guests job to tell Housekeeping when they were checking out? Didn't the Front Desk do that??

That was it for me, and I told her to pack it all in cause we're leaving right now.

About 15 minutes later we were at the front desk being told that we had additional charges to pay for our room and the Grand Northern Grill.

After a few minutes speaking with the girl (same girl that checked us in as I recall) she went and got a guy who looked at things a couple minutes, said we didn't owe anything other than the room and package charge, and apologized for locking us out of our room before our checkout time (she was calling Valet to get my car during this exchange). He said something about how the front desk clerks are supposed to change the checkout time in the computer when people with a Package check in and that they've been having a lot of problems with that lately. I didn't care, and I still don't. It shouldn't have happened in the first place, and what angered me is that they made attempt to remedy the problem. Actually, NO ONE ANYWHERE attempted to remedy any problem that we experienced anywhere in the hotel.

We had to wait outside for another 10 minutes for my car to show up (after spending between 12 and 15 minutes at the Front Desk). I think the Valet guy was waiting for a tip, and I didn't care. I was quite angry by this point and didn't give him a thing.

We left, driving back to the Cities hours earlier than I had planned to. We were going to stay and play in the casino for another couple hours after checking out, and maybe get a late lunch before leaving. Instead, we got fast food on the way home.


Grand Casino (either of them!) at this point is one of the last places I want to go for an evening or a weekend. We've had bad experiences now at both locations (overnight stays) and I won't be giving them anymore of my money. We haven't been back to Hinckley since the giant screw up they had on 7/7/07 and our weekend stay last year (which we've previously commented on), and I still have no intention of going back there. Now Mille Lacs is on my no-fly list too. The Mille Lacs casino was kinda tight anyway. We were up a few hundred at one point, but ended up down overall as Maryanne had no luck at all.

I'm beginning to think that the only way to get a real casino experience is to go to a real casino, like in Vegas. Either way, we're done with Grand Casino. We are players club members, but other than cashing in our session points for money I doubt we'll be back anytime this year.

One other thing I noticed here is that the casino employees, especially those involved with cleaning the casino, quite simply do not look where they are going. I lost count of how many times one of these people bumped me, backed into me, turned into me or just got right in my way as I was walking at the last possible second. Not once was any of them actually watching where they were going or looking to see if someone was coming or anything, and at no time did anyone of them apologize, ask to me excused or pardoned (most never even looked up or said anything). What happened to simple common sense and common courtesy?

Maryanne was not involved with the planning of this trip in anyway. I specifically wanted to surprise her with our destination, and I didn't want her to stress over any part or detail that ended up not meeting expectations. This resulted in my being extremely stressed and annoyed at check in, upon seeing our 'suite' (I hate calling it that cause it wasn't), upon seeing the extras the Romance Package gave us (room was just $172, package made it $350!!!) and at how poorly we were treated overall and at how poorly run the hotel and casino in general are.

Basically, I was very disappointed in the whole thing. Not remotely close to being worth what I spent; the room, the food, the extras are simply just very over-priced for what you actually get.

Maryanne was happy though. She wasn't happy about me being upset over everything that had gone wrong, but she was still happy to be away from the Cities with me for a couple days.

Next time we feel the need for a weekend get-away, we won't be doing it at Grand Casino (either of them).


UPDATE
June 10, 2008 0640:

Just got done looking at my credit card and bank statments (all online). I just found out that Grand Casino charged me twice for the room and package. So, our weekend at Grand Casino Mille Lacs wasn't just $350 but instead was $700! I've already called them and they '...don't understand why it would be charged twice." Gee, human error? They're going to call back at some point and let me know when they've taken care of it.